You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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