First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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