forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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