Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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