Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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