Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
