i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
