i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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