i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
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