Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
