Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
