My sheets look like a crime scene.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
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I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
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He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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