i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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