I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize