my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
