so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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