hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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