we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
