I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
