Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
