I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
