school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
