Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
its not stalking. its research.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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