you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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