My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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