On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
soo... how was my night?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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