Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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