If that was your dad, he is hot
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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