Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
