Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
