so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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