My brain says no but my pants say off.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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