Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
