You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
