new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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