Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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