I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
