i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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