spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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