There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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