She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My breasts were aching with rage.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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