Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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