i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
