Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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