I need help removing her.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
