? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
