Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
