There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize