People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
