When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!