forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
