Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
