We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize