you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
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My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
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i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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