Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
