Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
