It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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