Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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