ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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