Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
