I'm so fucking centered right now
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
