I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
