he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
