R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
