Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize